Can you tell me what's going on?

Can you tell me what’s going on?”

7 easy words that will set up any conversation for growth and understanding rather than defensiveness and frustration

▶️ When your kids are misbehaving and acting out - “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

▶️ When someone on your team seems down - “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

▶️ When your wife is flustered and stressed - “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

▶️ When you have performance issues with a team member - “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

I once had a team member that wasn’t pulling their weight and was struggling to show up strong to work.  I assumed it was just a performance problem that I, as a leader, needed to address through a tough conversation.

Instead, I asked “Can you tell me what’s going on?”, and found out that he was struggling because of family health issues, the demands of fatherhood, and being stretched thin, feeling inadequate to handle the challenges.

We had a GREAT conversation.  He acknowledged what he needed to do. I gave him space, grace, and some flexibility, and his performance turned around in days.

🙋‍♂️ Just remember to ask yourself that question sometimes too.

Are you feeling short with your kids?  Ask yourself what is going on to get to the root.  Maybe you’re angry because work has you stressed.  And work has you stressed because you had a bad meeting where you didn’t show up strong for your team.  That happened because you were tired and didn’t eat a good breakfast or didn’t have time for your morning ritual of exercise, meditation or journaling. Soon you realize it’s not that you have a short fuse or your kids aren’t needier than usual.  You just neglected to take care of yourself that day and it cascaded throughout your day.

🔑 Give yourself some grace, identify the source of the problem, and do better tomorrow.

❓ So, if you or someone in your sphere of influence seems off - “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

A simple question with major results.

Start Leading from Home.  Prioritize yourself and your family as fuel for your career success.

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